In 2019 there were 782,038 divorces in the USA, and 90,871 in the UK. According to recent reports, the divorce rate is continuing to rise and in the UK the divorce rate has increased by more than 18%. That is the highest increase in 50 years. One person who is not surprised by the increase in divorce rates is Katie Lucantonio, who is a Relationship and Transformational Coach.
Katie Lucantonio who has launched a Soul Mate Attraction program, which is a one-on-one coaching program for women who want to attract a high quality man and transform their lives, said she is not surprised about the high divorce rate According to the Relationship and Transformational Coach, some women are attracting the wrong men.
There are many reasons why women choose the wrong man to live with or to marry. One of those reasons is down to low self-esteem. According to a report in 2016, 4 out of 5 women suffer from low self-esteem. This does not just affect relationships; it can also affect careers.
In the USA 1 in 3 women are in an abusive relationship, in the UK that figure stands at 1 in 4. Sadly, low self-esteem has been linked to abuse within a relationship, which is why it is so important for women to overcome obstacles in their lives and gain the confidence they need to be happy.
Katie Lucantonio is trying to reduce the divorce rate by working with women to become more confident and help them find Mr Right, instead of Mr Wrong, or Mr Maybe. She has become very successful in changing people’s lives, so we decided to sit down with Katie and find out more about how she helps women overcome obstacles for true happiness.
- Katie Lucantonio, for people who don’t know you, can you introduce yourself? Sure, so I’m a rapid transformational therapy practitioner, spiritual counsellor and energy healer. I help women from all over the world to transform their lives using my unique gifts and healing tools to clear old belief patterns and attract the life they desire – my speciality is helping women to attract their soul mate but my work spans to money, career, weight loss and self-esteem.
- So, you are a life coach, what aspect of coaching gives you the most satisfaction? I love it when my clients email me out of nowhere telling me they have attracted the perfect guy or have lost the excess weight they have been carrying for decades that has affected their self-confidence. Women come to me when they are at their lowest point in life, sometimes suicidal and after our work together they completely transform their lives, gain confidence, go after the career they want and find love- I never get tired of the success stories my work brings.
- What is a Relationship and transformational coach and what type of people do you help? So, I help women specifically, although men do come to me from time to time. But I mainly help women to overcome where they are blocked in their relationship patterns so they can stop attracting the wrong types of men and toxic relationships or even undo narcissistic abuse. Many of the women come to me desperate to find the “one” but are attracting completely emotionally unavailable men that lie, cheat and use them, which leaves them feeling used, tired, with low self-esteem and blaming themselves. I help them to clear their old relationship patterns and raise their energetic blueprint to be able to attract exactly the type of guy they want. I also get clients that come to me when they are stuck in business or around attracting money to help them get the success they want. I use a lot of esoteric and shaman techniques to help my clients get extraordinary results.
- Is there a difference between a life coach and a therapist? Yes, coaching is tailored more toward goal orientated strategies and is unregulated. So, there are a lot of techniques available to a coach to get the results the client wants. A therapist uses structured techniques to help a person work through layers of trauma, using specific tools. Both are great, but its important to know when to use what, in what you are trying to achieve.
- You have just announced your new Soul Mate Attraction program, can you explain more about the program? I’d love to- so the new program spans over three months of intensive healing and coaching to help you heal your old relationship wounds and patterns, reprogram your subconscious beliefs and raise your energetic vibration so you are magnetic to a high-vibe, high-value man. Each woman is different so there is no set “curriculum” I follow, it’s very bespoke to each individual. I have a huge tool box that I use in my own life and on my clients which get unprecedented results, I use Rapid Transformational Therapy, coaching, Quantum Energy Healing, Theta Healing and more to clear out your blockages. I provide a high touch, on-going support for my clients so they have me in their back pocket every step of the way. The results are phenomenal.
- Who is the program aimed at? Its aimed at women who have low self-esteem who are struggling to attract love or have been attracting the wrong guy over and over again and are ready to attract their soul mate. It’s also for the woman who is stuck and unhappy with where she is in her career/relationship/business/money and wants to shift things so she can have the life she dreams of. I find that no matter what area of life we work on, there is a flow on effect that improves every area, its extraordinary.
7. So, your program helps women attract a high-quality man, what do you mean by that, and what would you describe as a high-quality man? Men and women complement each other beautifully when both are right for each other. A high-quality man is a man that is loving and a strong support for his partner. He has integrity, his word is worth more than his signature on paper, he is generous and forgiving, he provides a calm stability to a woman’s life. Women are like storms and it takes an emotionally matured man to be calm through a storm.
- You say that your program helps women overcome emotional issues, does some of those emotional issues include a woman being cheated on? Yes, absolutely. Unfortunately, cheating is so common now in relationships and leaves a lot of damage if its not healed. A lot of my clients come to me when they have tried “everything”. Sadly talk therapy can only take you so far and that’s where you need to employ more powerful techniques to help overcome and heal emotional issues so you don’t get stuck in the same relationship patterns as before or attracting the same guy with a different name.
- Talking of cheating, why do you think some men continue to cheat on their partners? I find there is no one size fits all with cheating, every case is different-but the majority of cheating occurs because men feel that the relationship is stale and that the grass is greener on the other side. Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship together. Men need to feel needed and wanted, not in a needy desperate way but in a way that he can support his partner and is valued for it. That he is able to be her rock and protector. Men need to feel in their own masculine power in order to grow and feel loved. I always use the analogy that the man is the boat, and the woman is the rudder. If a man does not get his emotional needs met, he will look to other ways or another to fulfil him.
- I read an article that claimed some women attract men who cheat, would you agree with that statement? This is a loaded question (laughs). Some women definitely have a pattern of attracting the wrong guy that cheats yes. This is only because subconsciously she is attracting a certain type based of her conditioning. She may have had a critical parent growing up and felt unloved and not worthy of being treated in a loving way, so if that’s the case when these parental wounds are not healed she will fulfil her own limiting belief patterns that she is unworthy and unlovable by attracting the wrong guy. You see what we believe internally on a subconscious level is projected out into our outer world. Until we change it of course!
- You help women to overcome obstacles in their lives, so are you saying that by not being able to overcome the negative problems they have it could result in a relationship not working out or finding the wrong partner? Yes – negative relationship and self esteem patterns keeps you stuck in the same loops that replay over and over again until they are broken and healed once and for all. That is why you keep attracting the same person or the same relationship issues. I had a teacher once say to me “have you ever noticed that when ever there is a problem your always there?” Its funny, but very true. Until we break out of our negative subconscious pattern’s we can’t change our lives.
- Sadly, a lot of women with low esteem end up in abusive and violent relationships, can you explain why that is? Sadly, this is all too true, and I see this in my practice far too often. It’s because these women don’t feel good enough and worthy of a high-value man that treats them right. Low self-esteem is learned in childhood from parents or caregivers and childhood experiences. Our beliefs are formed by the time we are seven and we carry these beliefs into adulthood. If we aren’t praised as children or are constantly criticized, ridiculed or teased this forms the belief within us that “I am not good enough” so “I don’t deserve a good man or someone that treats me right”. Often children who witness abuse in the home grow up to attract the same kind of partner as the abusive parent. This is due to unresolved parental wounding, when a pattern is unresolved you repeat it until you break the negative loop. This isn’t because they are attracted to their parent, its because the parent treated them so badly and made them feel so unloved that they want to somehow prove to their abuser (and themselves) that they are worthy of love by recreating the conditions.
- So, improving self-esteem is a route to a successful relationship and finding the right person? Absolutely, it is the magic key for the very fact when you believe you are worthy and deserve to be treated as such, your boundaries wont be compromised and you can attract a high quality person that will treat you how you should be treated. Our world is created by what we tolerate, so if we are always putting up with lying, cheating, emotional unavailability we signal to the universe or our outer world “this is ok, bring me more of this because I am ok with it”. Change your unconscious programming and it will be reflected in your life.
- What is the most common relationship issue you encounter with your clients? Unable to communicate their wants, needs and desires and lack of intimacy is huge. Women have huge issues with asking for what they want clearly and openly. Also, a lot of women struggle with sexual intimacy and this can cause major problems in a relationship.
- Are there any issues you feel you wouldn’t be able to help with? Yes, women who are still living with their abuser or if their partner has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Also, people who aren’t ready or willing to change one hundred percent.
- What would you say are the four most important things to a successful relationship? Communication, friendship, common goals/wanting the same things, physical & emotional intimacy!
- There were 782,038 divorces in the USA in 2019, and 90,871, in the UK, do you feel people are too easy to end their marriage instead of seeing a relationship coach to try and fix their problems? Unfortunately, yes. Too many people give up on their relationships and head to divorce court because they believe that there’s “something or someone” better outside of the relationship, rather than communicate and work through it. A lot of relationships could be saved if both parties were willing to do the inner work.
- There are millions of women around the world who are stuck in a loveless relationship, but for some reason they don’t leave that relationship when they could have a happier life with someone else, why is that? Fear is huge. And people are hard-wired to avoid the unfamiliar and cling to the familiar. Even though a relationship isn’t what you want or makes you unhappy, it is familiar and comfortable. There is no risk of failure, so we can live in comfort even though we are miserable because we are used to it. If you leave a relationship, there are so many unknowns and the first thing I hear clients say to me “what if I don’t find someone else”. The fear of being alone is very real for a lot of women.
- Would it be too late for a woman who is in a relationship that is not working to use your services? Definitely not, I help women in every aspect of their lives. Its never too late to want to transform yourself!
To learn more about Katie Lucantonio visit www.coachingwithkatie.net